Gratituesday - light at the end of the tunnel…

If you know me at all, it will come as no surprise to you that I’ve been struggling in a variety of ways since Martha’s birth (13 1/2 months ago). And if I’m honest, there was quite a bit of struggling before that too - health issues, coping with difficult pregnancies while adjusting to a brand new marriage and a new life in Las Vegas, new babies, raising toddlers. Let’s just say that my coping skills have had a very good workout for quite some time.

God and I have had lots of discussions about my coping abilities, my tendency to try to do things all on my own without His help, and my desire to be less anxious, less stressed, more calm, and more “together”. Ok, let’s just call it what it is - perfectionism. Control. Wanting things MY way. Or the highway. It’s like a blanket that covers every aspect of life, and really - it’s not pretty.

Thankfully God is always there to provide relief and to say, “of course I’ll take that burden, now LEAVE it with me this time, will you?” And lately, while there are still a few things that I’m vigorously working on (mostly spiritual, and a topic for another time), at least in the “home” department I’ve been feeling a little lighter. And by lately - I mean the last few days.

We had a pretty rough end of March and most of April - lots of illness all around, and a trip to the ER with little Allan. An IEP meeting for Samuel, for next school year (which admittedly stressed me out a lot more than I let on). The end of “birthday season” (thank goodness!). Issues at church.

During all this, I’ve been working (with God) on my attitudes, my responses, my organization and my scheduling. My tendency to over-book myself. Trying to find a little balance between home and work and God and just being ME.

And there was a moment yesterday, when lil Allan was taking a nap, and Martha was playing at my feet, and I was finishing up a THIRD Heavenly Promises order that I realized - wow, today was a really GOOD day! Yes, we all still have the sniffles, and we had some stressful moments, but all in all, it went really well.

I managed to remember to eat breakfast! And take my pill! And we got the clutter picked up, and the kitchen table cleared off, and the floor swept. I did THREE orders, start to finish, while the kids played around me. We watched a little TV together and I tried to get Martha to walk without me. (She’s so stubborn!)

If you’d been a fly on the wall, you probably wouldn’t have seen anything particularly magical about yesterday’s accomplishments, but for a few moments, I felt peace and happiness and a sense that we’re making progress. I am profoundly grateful that through everything God is there, making it easier, providing relief and refuge when I get overwhelmed, and reminding me often to LET IT GO already! It’s a process, but I finally feel like I’m taking steps forward!

So, that’s what I’m thankful for today. What are YOU thankful for, and how is God blessing your life? You can read more Gratituesday posts over at Laura’s blog.