A few months ago, I “met” a gal online, named SueZQue (aka Kim). She and I met through Laura’s Heavenly Homemakers blog, and I really enjoyed reading Kim’s blog and her comments. I could relate to so much of what she had to say, how she said it, and was inspired by her and encouraged by her.

And then I got a chance to help her with a new business venture. She wanted a website, Laura sent her my way, and we began working together to get one started. I began stockpiling a lot of fun notes in my saved email from her, as we wrote back and forth about name ideas and what she wanted in a website and hopefully a future home based business.

She wanted to get this site going, because she was looking forward to being a Mom some day, and she wanted to be able to stay home with those future kids. It was something I COMPLETELY related to, because I had done the same thing a decade ago when I started my business. It was exciting to share in HER excitement, and Laura and I were both enjoying getting email from her about her ideas and plans. (Yes, we talked about her behind her back, but it was all good, I promise!)

And then, Saturday morning, the phone rang and the world spun a little off-kilter. Tragic, tragic news. Laura called to tell me that Kim and her husband Gary were killed in their car… by a tornado. It’s been two days almost, and I still can’t comprehend it, AT ALL. My brain just keeps shutting down when I try to process the information. I find myself sitting on the couch, with my head shaking in disbelief. My kids keep looking at me as I wipe tears from my eyes.

Last night, I spent a couple of hours with google and the news websites, reading story after story (mostly repetitive) about the accident and the tornado. I had to quit once I found an article with a picture of the car.

Tonight, I sat reading the archives of Kim’s blog, and then found another one, and read those archives too. More tears flowed, especially when I read Kim’s “Gratituesday” posts, and her “Thursday Thirteen” posts. One TT post stood out to me… called “Thirteen Promises That God Has Given Me”. I just kept reading those verses and thinking about her and Gary, and praying (for the hundredth time) that God took them quickly. That she and he were praying together, and then gone. To Heaven. For their rewards.

The first promise Kim listed in her blog post is my favorite (although they are ALL good). My prayer is that tonight, and this next week, and month, and year, that Kim and Gary’s families will know and feel and be comforted by God’s Everlasting Love.

If you are like me, you are busy.  You have a job (or two or three), probably a few children and a husband, a house to run and bills to pay and clothes to wash and food to prepare.  You wear a lot of hats, and you stay up late and you get up early to try and get it all done.  The days and weeks sometimes go by so fast, you are surprised to find it’s the weekend again… and then again.

If you are like me, you would like life to slow down a little.  You’d like some quiet time, some solitude, some spiritual renewal.  You know you need to make time for it, but the demands of children and work and husband and life… well…let’s just say that there is a not-so-nice being out there… (who roams around like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour) …and he’d like you to think that all those demands come first, before spiritual renewal, before quiet time, before solitude and prayer.

But, he’s wrong, and if you are like me, you know it’s time to recapture some of the time in each day to devote to quietness and worship and a word with God.

So, what works for me?  Lately, I’ve been spending time each morning at Heartlight.org.  I read the new devo for the day, and I read Phil Ware’s blog, and I read any other devos or articles that jump out at me.  I’ve also signed up for several of their emails, so when I check my email (first thing AFTER my devo time), I have a few additional scriptures to read over and think about as I start my day.  If a scripture or devo thought seems especially relevant (as many of them often do), I leave the email in my Inbox, so I can read over it a few more times whenever I check my email.  (If you are like me, you check your email 50 times a day or more - oh wait, is that just me?)

Yes, I know it seems a little odd - to have my “quiet time” over my keyboard, but for right now, it works for me. 

I am working on some additional tools to help me make the most of my moments of solitude and worship and pray.  I’ll share more about those next week.

Spiritual warfare. I’ve always believed very strongly in it.  I’ve usually been aware of it happening around me, within me.  And I’ve been reminded of it this weekend. 

I’m making some new rules.  First, don’t ever make declarations or intentions without lots of prayer backup, and second, be ready for the backlash of negativity when you attempt to focus only on the positive.  I don’t really have the words to descibe the level of anxiety I felt this morning.  I was literally paralyzed with fear, anxiety, and a number of other negative emotions.  I can’t really begin to understand or explain it - and believe me, I tried to do both. 

One of the best tools against being spiritually attacked?  Lots and lots of singing, mixed with prayer.  This isn’t a new concept - it’s probably more like a “duh” concept.  But, I sat for 30 minutes singing to my boys at naptime, and wow… what a difference.

 

 

For the last couple of weeks, our youngest son, “Baby” Allan has been changing.  On April 28th, we celebrated his first birthday.  And ever since, he’s been acting like he’s two!  For some reason, he’s decided that the “terrible twos” need to start NOW, instead of next year.  Temper tantrums, yelling, kicking and flailing, screaming, loud angry noises, and angry angry faces.  It’s a bit unnerving, and extremely funny at the same time.

So, I’ve been saying over and over… “he better grow out of it now, or else we are TOTALLY in for it when he actually turns two!”  It occurred to me after having said that for the 20th or 30th time, that I need to be careful about what I think and say.  I don’t think something WILL happen, just because I say it enough times, but at the same time I don’t want to say something so often that I program my mind to believe it IS that way. 

I had this thought in conjunction with some other “deep” thoughts.  I have been making some changes that I hope will lead me towards being a stronger, happier, healthier wife and Mommy.  Almost immediately, I started “hearing” old thoughts in my head, about how I can’t make these changes… I’m just going to feel stressed because of the changes… it’s hard and I’ll probably just fail again, etc., etc.  I sat feeding Baby Allan the other day, with these old tapes running through my mind, and suddenly it clicked.  These old tapes need to be TURNED OFF!  I am doing myself no favors by listening to them, especially since most of it is garbage… lies that I’ve believed, and refuse to believe anymore.

So, one more change - work on turning off the the negative thoughts.  Time to begin pondering whatever is good and pure and all the rest…  It’s SO time for that already!

I have the best of intentions for this blog, and often write amazing long-winded eloquent posts in my head while feeding the baby, or while trying to fall asleep at night.  Of course, since I’m never sitting at the computer during those times, you’ll have to take my word about the “amazing” and “eloquent”.  Lately when I do sit here to write, the scrapbookin’ obsession takes over, and I use that as an easy out for posting.  Of course I want to share the layouts and my hobby, but it seems this blog has turned into not much more than a showcase lately.  I’m mostly ok with that, but would prefer to write more posts of substance, at least occasionally.

So, a departure… a bit of substance, if I can muster it.

This has been a week full of sadness, discussion, anger, more discussion, and more sadness.  And lots of prayer.  Why?  Well, it’s somewhat difficult to explain, because we don’t fully understand our emotions about it all, but Allan and I have been heavily affected by the killing of a minister that we don’t even know from Selmer, TN.  Matthew Winkler was found shot in the back, and a day or so later his wife Mary allegedly confessed to killing him.  Their three daughters are now in the custody of Matthew’s parents, and Mary is in jail, looking at first-degree murder charges. This is a tragic story from many angles, but why does it affect us so much?  Again, we didn’t know them… but yet… we feel like we could have.  We are members of the Church of Christ.  Matthew was a minister for a Church of Christ in Tennessee. 

It probably seems silly to folks not affiliated with our churches, but there is a deep kinship that exists among members of the Churches of Christ, whether you know one another or not.  And there also exists a kind of “six degrees of separation” within the church family, even though our churches are considered autonomous and individual.  More often that not, if we are travelling or visiting a congregation other than our home church, we find someone we know.. or meet someone who knows someone we know.  I don’t think this kind of thing exists as much in the larger denominations, at least not to the extent it does in the Churches of Christ.  Some would argue, probably quite fairly, that this exists because we have a tendency towards being “exclusive”.  That’s a possible reason, but I prefer to focus on the positives (with the hope and prayer that we are continually evaluating our exclusive tendencies, and becoming more inclusive in the ways Jesus would want us to be). We don’t have a denominational “head” somewhere, but we have deep kinship all the same.  That’s a pretty amazing quality, and for all my frustrations (a post or two for another day), I am proud to be a part of this family. 

And I have to say this - we believe, (as most other cofc’ers do) that we are not the ONLY Christians.  Our fellowship has been blasted by certain “media personalities” this week, and it’s been a source of frustration, sadness, anger, and resignation.  I’ve read some quality posts and comments on various blogs and sites, and I hope this attack will be a wake-up call.  To paraphrase a post I read, we aren’t doing a very good job representing, if mainstream America doesn’t know who we are or what and who we stand for.  There is a lot we could be doing better, as individual churches and as a community as a whole. 

On a more positive note, I am so proud of the way the church family in Selmer is handling this horrible tragedy.  With every news article we read we have felt comforted by the loving reactions and caring, thoughtful, wise comments made.  I can’t even begin to imagine the depth of emotion running through that little town and through that congregation, but they are being Christ to the world right now in this situation.  I pray that they can continue doing just that through the coming months as this drags on.

There is much more to say, but my brain is jumbled.  Perhaps another day…

May God bless Mary Winkler, Matthew Winkler’s family, their children, the church family, and everyone affected by this. 

 

 

I’ve been reading blogs for close to two years now and really have far too many in my “must read” list, as I continue to find new ones almost every day.  I started reading a few secular blogs that I found by accident, and then wondered who in the Christian community was writing daily.  I did a search at google, and one of the first Christian blogs I started reading was that of Mike Cope’s.  He is a minister in Abilene, TX, and his blog is a mixture of (but not limited to) spiritual thoughts, everyday ramblings, book reviews, prayer requests, sermons, and more.  (I am a huge fan of his, ever since I first heard him speak at the Pepperdine lectureships several years ago on the topic of Job.  I still get goosebumps and tears in my eyes when I recall listening to him speak that night).  Anyway, when I first found his blog, I read through the archives a bit, and then clicked on a few links.  The links led me to more blogs, which led me to more, and so on.  Reading the online journals of people I don’t know (or rather, don’t know me) occasionally makes me wonder about myself, but I continue doing it anyway!

So, this week Mike has been writing on the topic of the Bible.  These posts are a must-read  You can read them here:

The B-I-B-L-E #1

The B-I-B-L-E #2

The B-I-B-L-E #3

I don’t think he’s done yet, so I will list more links as he adds posts.

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And for those of you who are interested in more layouts, I’ve updated the gallery with about 6 new ones.  I need to take a couple of days and get caught up on business stuff, but I expect I’ll have a few more on Monday.